☂ Internet trickster (rainmage) wrote in atomicdaydream,
☂ Internet trickster
rainmage
atomicdaydream

[English] Bacon really is magic

Title: Bacon really is magic
Fandom: Journey into Mystery, Young Avengers in spirit
Genre: stupid dialog, meta foreshadowing
Character: Kid Loki, Ikol, cameo by Leah
Length: 830
Summary: Loki explains to an uptight Ikol why mortal food is so fascinating. Set during the Manchester Gods arc.



One of the most useful, practical lessons in life that Ikol ever learned was one during the little act of terrorism at Whitworth Street West, Manchester. The kids had just blew up something immaterial but important nonetheless. The fundamentals can be rarely seen, after all.

"I will send the bait to the Manchester gods," said Leah to Loki. You go rest on the meantime. And stay away from those energy drinks, you're most unbearable when you run on caffeine."

"Fine by me. We'll wait for you at the nearest restaurant to the Haçienda."

Leah disappeared down a green portal. Loki walked down the streets, Ikol flying right above him.

"I'm starving," he said more to himself than to his other self. "I wonder if they have anything with bacon... Like the animated gif says, I have a mighty need."

"Loki, I certainly don't get your obsession with mortal morsels. Have you been taking advice from Volstagg? That ridiculous clothing you donned at the airport seems like something he would wear."

"You just don't get it, Ikol. I happen to enjoy the good and new things in life, which is something I doubt you did very well during your lifetime."

"Asgardian gastronomy is good, too. New for you as well. Yet I don't see you so keen on the roasted lamb."

"That's old people stuff! Look, it's not about eating a lot, it's about the flavors. It's about the contrast to our lack of change. The Asgardian kitchens have been cooking the same recipes for centuries. The most revolutionary incursion they've had recently was some of Bill of the Bills' favorite American dishes, yet they still prepare them in this boring Asgardian way. But Midgardian gastronomy is variety, a literal and figurative pot of cultures and ages. Even the same meal won't taste the same in different hands."

"Hmmm. I think I'm beginning to understand the logic."

They walked and flew in silence for a minute or two.

"Have you ever even tasted food of the mortals, Ikol?"

"I was once given a street-made hot dog by Spider-man."

"Cool! How was it?"

"The green bits were too suspicious."

"There you go, old Loki logic! You think way too much. It's about the flavors, like I said. If every time you eat something you worry you're getting horse meat, if you suspect every link to a video on Tube of You is a Rick Roll, you won't enjoy anything at all. Don't make an intrigue of it. Accept the green parts. Eat the green parts. Focus on the tasty sausage."

"Don't think I'll call anyone for help if you suffer from food poisoning, thanks to a neglectful cook!" Said Ikol, but he was secretly processing the advice.

"It's part of the risk!"

"Youth can be so foolish."

"It's not just youth, you know. I'm sure you drank a lot of bad wine until you found the very excellent vintage. Just try the next dish or the next diner until something fits."

"A lottery, in other words."

"Yeah. Although there are some Midgardian flavors so sublime, it doesn't matter much who or how or with what. For instance, chocolate and bacon. Universal marvels for the palate."

"Are they truly that delectable?"

"People on the Internet often equates them to the act of sex. I lack the knowledge to say if that simile is true... I don't know if you ever enjoyed to do it, even."

Ikol's feathers ruffled a little bit.

"How dare you, insolent brat! I will let you know that--"

Loki rammed his index fingers into his ears and sang loudly until the magpie stopped talking. That was information about his past life that he considered... well, too much information.

"Let's please compare it to something else. Do you know the sensation of pleasure you get when you cast a spell and it works splendidly?"

"I indeed do. Why?"

"That's the mystical equivalent of a good bacon strip or a chocolate bar in your mouth."

"Are you suggesting bacon is magic?"

"Yes. It's just that magically delicious."

They had arrived to the modest establishment and people were staring at him, so Loki ignored Ikol and jumped to the closest free table. He checked the menu and grinned.

"Aha, a promise of magic to be summoned," he whispered to the bird only visible to him, and then he called at the man behind the counter. "Excuse me, mister guv sir! May I please have your best full English breakfast despite of the nightly hours? With extra bacon strips if possible."

"We serve no breakfast 'til 5:00 am, lad."

"Then a bacon sandwich will suffice." Then he remembered Leah's words about the caffeine, just to shrug them off. "And a cup of black coffee, as I need to be unbearable tonight."
Tags: c: marvel: ikol, c: marvel: kid loki, f: journey into mystery, f: marvel
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